Good Fantasy Football article by Bill Simmons. We should discuss some his ideas and recommendations, specifically the idea of making our league a Keeper League.
http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/100806
Recommendation No. 1: Everyone agrees on a Universal Fantasy System
I carved out a blueprint four years ago in ESPN The Magazine. My readers loved it. Nothing happened. I stand by every idea in the column, particularly an auction and the playoff wrinkle. But really, there's only one way we can get traction for the auction/playoffs combo: If President Obama designates a sports czar who can get it done. I've been pushing for this job for two years as something of a lark; then I found out recently that North Korea actually has its own sports minister. You know what? That sounds even better than "Sports Czar." The Sports Minister! Count me in. I'll leave ESPN tomorrow.
Recommendation No. 2: Everyone switches to an auction format
Why? Because nobody in the history of mankind has ever NOT had fun during an auction. Because it spares us from the missionary-position feel of a round-by-round draft; auctions can go in any direction. (You never know who might run out of money too soon, you never know which bargains will be lurking at the end and you can't predict anyone else's game plan. In a round-by-round draft, I can see who's picking No. 2 and guess "He's going to do this, this and this" and probably be right. In an auction? No way.) Because simmering tensions can bubble to the surface, usually when two dudes who secretly don't like each other suddenly get into a rooster-swinging contest over some random QB. Because nothing's more fun than bidding someone else up, and nothing's less fun than getting stuck with that player if the other owner backs off. Because it's always fun to make fun of the one guy who outsmarted himself and got stuck with $20-$25 he can't use. And best of all, because someone like Chris Johnson goes to the highest bidder instead of someone who just lucked out by pulling an ace from a deck of cards.
(Put it this way: I have never, not once, talked to someone who did a fantasy auction, then decided afterward, "Nahhhhh, I still like round-by-round more." Also, some leagues have an auction until every team acquires eight or 10 players, then they go round-by-round after that. Or, as I'd like to christen this idea right now, "The Surf and Turf." I like this wrinkle. Best of both worlds.)
Recommendation No. 3: Keepers.
You get more attached to keepers. They become YOUR guys. (See the Santana sidebar above.) In fantasy football, you never get attached for more than four months. I've heard some quality round-by-round keeper ideas that I'm not passing along because, again, round-by-round drafts are for unimaginative, stubborn wimps. For auction keepers, here's what I recommend: Keep up to four players per season; keep any player for up to four years; anyone you drafted in 2010 can be kept for an extra $10 in 2011, then you have the right to sign them for TWO extra years for $15 more (Year 3) and another $5 (Year 4). But you have to decide after Year 2 whether you're giving him two more years or letting him go.
For example, let's say you drafted Miles Austin for $1 last year. You get him for $11 in 2010. That's done. After 2010, you can either let him go or sign him for two more years ($26 in Year 3, $31 in Year 4.) But here's the catch: Let's say he gets hurt in Year 3, goes in the tank, whatever. You're stuck with him in Year 4. You signed him to a two-year deal! Even if you waive him, that $31 stays on your cap. So really, you're dealing with the same cap risks as a real NFL team. I love this idea. Personally, I wouldn't keep anyone past that second year unless I struck gold with someone like Peterson … but you never know.
Here's where that keeper wrinkle goes to another level: Let's say I steal Ben Tate for $6 because everyone else runs out of money. Tate goes bonkers in Houston and passes 1,000 rushing yards by Week 8. I'm fighting for the title with two other owners and need to swing a blockbuster deal for a stud QB because my Matt Leinart/Jay Cutler combo isn't quite cutting it. My buddy Sal (1-7 and headed for last place) has Brees and Rice, so I offer him Tate and Cutler for Brees and Rice. For me, Rice matches Tate's numbers and I get the massive Brees upgrade. For Sal, he gets a fantastic keeper (Tate at $16 in 2011). Everyone wins. Any idea that promotes continuity, encourages trading and/or keeps crappy fantasy owners engaged is a good one … right?
(P.S.: You know how it's sneaky-boring to hear about any fantasy trade someone else made? Tell me you weren't riveted by that Tate/Cutler for Brees/Rice trade scenario. All that thing needed was Adam Schefter reporting it. That reminds me … )
Recommendation No. 4: Safe words
I finally figured out a way to save each other from boring fantasy stories: We need to create a universal safe word, like how S&M partners alert each other that they're going too far. Don't put the whip there … KNAPSACK! If you're ever trapped by an interminably long fantasy story, just start screaming, "KNAPSACK! KNAPSACK!" Eventually someone will come rescue you. Let's just try this for four months and see if it works.
Recommendation No. 5: Ménage À Trois Week
I'm suggesting this begrudgingly -- because I know that, sadly, not everyone will adopt my playoff rules until Obama hires a sports minister -- as something of a stopgap while we're stuck with 16-week leagues. But in 12-team leagues with a 14-week regular season, as you know, everyone plays each other once (11 weeks), then plays three teams a second time. Instead of those rematches, I present to you … Ménage À Trois Week!
Three times during the season (Week 4, Week 8 and Week 12), your league schedules four three-team matchups instead of the conventional six head-to-head matchups. The big catch: For every ménage à trois matchup, only one team can win (the other two get losses). Imagine the trash-talking! Imagine the tension! Imagine it coming down to Monday night with all three teams still in the mix! Imagine the satisfaction of being one of four owners who won the first Ménage À Trois Week! Imagine the playoff implications for the teams that go 3-0 in Ménage À Trois Week! And really, how can you be against anything called Ménage À Trois Week???
Recommendation No. 6: The Backgammon Cube
Of all the goofy ideas I've thrown out in this space since 2001, this might be my favorite. Or at least in the top 300. I almost don't want to put it in print. I want to travel America and tell each and every person individually just so I can see the look on their face. I love it that much.
OK …
So two weekends ago, my buddy Daniel and I were playing backgammon for money. Little-known fact about me: I'm either the Jordan, Magic, Russell or Bird of backgammon. Nobody should ever play me for money. It should be illegal. Needless to say, Daniel loves putting money on anything and everything, and needless to say, I was working him like a speedbag. We were playing $20 a game and using the backgammon cube. (That's the oversized, white, dice-like cube that has the numbers 2, 4, 8, 16, 32 and 64 on it.) That cube can escalate things pretty quickly at $20 a game. As Daniel found out. I now own his house. Just kidding. Kind of.
Here's how it works: if I have an advantage (or if I think I have an advantage), I offer the cube to Daniel at "2" (doubling the worth of the game). He can accept; he can "beaver" it to "4" (which means you're immediately redoubling it and keeping the cube, but again, you have to do it immediately); or he can reject it. If he rejects it, the game ends and I win the original wager ($20). So there's some gamesmanship, and if he beavers it and eventually gains the upper hand, he can offer me the cube back on "8" (eight times the worth of the game). Once it maxes out at "64" (64 times the worth of the game), you're done. So conceivably, we could have played a game worth $20 x 64 ($1,280). That means every backgammon cube offer should be considered carefully; you never know when it might spiral out of control.
Well, I love the backgammon cube. It's like a game of dare. You have to trust your abilities, know how to read the game and know your limitations. The dumbest thing you can do is get macho and say, "Things are looking bleak; screw it, I'll take my chances, I accept!" Yet that's what most guys do when we're offered the cube. We hate admitting defeat. Well, unless we're LeBron James.
So let's translate the backgammon cube to fantasy football and say that, other than our league entry fee, weekly matchups are worth $10 head-to-head for whomever wants in. (Important note: Nobody HAS to do it. We're not putting a gun to anyone's head. Both sides have to be game.) At halftime of the early games Sunday, and only then, the backgammon cube goes live. Let's say you just had two big touchdowns. You have an early lead. You like your chances.
You e-mail or text your opponent, "CUBE X 2."
He has 10 minutes to respond. If he doesn't respond, you call him. If he doesn't answer the call, cube rules are nullified for that week, he owes you the original $10, and it reverts back to weekly rules. (Note: I'm including this wrinkle just for those Sundays when someone has spotty cell reception, they're incapacitated, or whatever.) But let's say he hits you right back, and not only does he respond, he types back: "Beaver."
Now the matchup is worth $40. Here we go.
An hour later, he gets a long passing TD and quickly hits you again: "CUBE X 8." If you accept, it's suddenly an $80 matchup. If you accept AND beaver it, it's a $160 matchup. If you decline, the matchup is over and you're out $160. Gulp.
The big wrinkle: Cube rules also translate to that week's standings. Once you concede, you don't just lose money, you lose the fantasy week as well. So let's say you concede the cube (and the week), then your team roars back and passes your opponent by Monday night. Doesn't matter. You already waved the white flag. Yeah, you get to keep the points for your overall season total … but you get an "L" for the fantasy week. And, on top of that, you get taunted by your opponent because he made you walk away from a victory.
Not to go Dierdorf on you, but you're telling me the cube wouldn't add a little tension to every fantasy week? You're telling me you wouldn't be on pins and needles dreading that "CUBE X 2" text (if things were going badly), or that you wouldn't be frantically upping the stakes as soon as things swung in your favor? When I say it's 2010 and we need to start throwing some rocks in the fantasy pool, that's what I mean. We need a backgammon cube. We need keepers. We need auctions. We need the real playoffs. We need universal rules. We even need Ménage À Trois Week. We need to keep moving forward. Rock, meet pool.
Sincerely,
Your Future Sports Minister
Home 
